a short reprieve

My last blog was a matter of fact, clinical, quite cold and depressing bunch of words.
I'd like to reflect on that.
I can't say I'm doing any better concerning the Crohn's Disease.
Other than taking a large amount of steroids and numerous other meds to stave off the effects of this 'flare up'.

I wonder why they call it a flare up?

Oh well,
I went for 7 days without solid food.
Jello, juice, tea, coffee, soda.
and I did cheat and drank some Ensure.
I did need something to keep me going!
I was on vacation for the duration. What a wonderful way to take a vacation!
Sick!
Sick has its benefits.
It gives me some down time to reflect on my life.
Things that need attention.
Loose ends that I never get around to tying up.
People that I've regained some connection with.
Due to the illness, my life had to slow down, until I recouperate.
I'm still mentoring people that I feel need and want my input.
This, by far, gives me the most satisfaction.
a feeling that I've made an impact in someones life, possibly allowing them to achieve their full potential.
Me.. however.. well, I've never reached my full potential.
I've been doing the minimum for most of my life.
Sure, most of my co-workers and friends say that I do too much, put out too much energy and try too hard to do the right thing,, the noble, caring thing.
I KNOW I can do better.
I always did know I can surpass the standards I've set.
It has nothing to do with comparing myself to others.
No one knows what makes people act the way they do, or what motivates them.
I can't even guess.
I do wonder, as I observe how they interact with others.
I only know how I see myself and how I connect in this world.
Sometimes it's woefully inadequate.
Sometimes brilliant..
If I must say so myself :)